SCIENTOLOGY JUST GOT PAID

Longtime Scientologist Nancy Cartwright — best known as the voice of Bart Simpson — gave the church of scientology $10 million last year, twice as much as even scientology superstar Tom Cruise, who gave just under 5 million. Page Six says:

It was all part of Scientology’s Global Salvage effort, which aims to “de-aberrate” Earth — meaning to rid mankind of psychology ills and other “aberrant” behavior.Here are some of the celeb gifts from 2007:  Nancy Cartwright: $10 million.  Kirstie Alley: $5 million.  John Travolta: $1 million.  Kelly Preston: $1 million.  Priscilla Presley: $50,000.

"De-aberate" isn't a real word of course, but if it were it would mean the exact opposite of "lust for money", because scientology likes that a whole lot. Tom Cruise, seen above with ATM's Katherine Bell and Kelly Preston, and here with easily duped lottery tickets Jason Lee and Erika Christensen, should be ashamed of himself. 5 million?  They'll never find and stop the alien lord who invented aberating at this rate.