JAMIE LYNN IS HELPING

The New York Post is breaking the story this afternoon that Nickelodeon is considering a sex education special because the star of it's most popular show, 16-year-old Jamie Lynn Spears, is now pregnant.

The television network has made no announcement about the future of "Zoey 101," its popular program aimed primarily at youngsters aged 9- 14. Filming for the show's fourth and final season has finished, and episodes are scheduled to begin airing in February.  For the special, Nickelodeon said it's talking with veteran newswoman Linda Ellerbee"This is a great opportunity for parents at this moment to talk to their kids about this-more important, to listen to their kids about this," Ellerbee said.Rather than focus strictly on Spears, Ellerbee said she's considering producing a broad discussion about how people know they're in love, when is the right time to have sex and what are the value systems of their parents and friends. It could air as soon as next month."I think it's important that something be done," Ellerbee said. "But I think it's important that it be done in a measured way, and not just to feed the beast of news stories.”

Well that should be comfortable.  Linda Ellerbee is like 900 years old and she looks like a cartoon worm.  I'm sure the kids will line up to go on TV and talk to her about getting erections.  That's what kids do when they have sex questions.  They go ask the old people.  They need to know how people jacked off in World War I.  Maybe they can get one of the kids grandfathers to come out and masturbate with a belt around his neck too.  When I go to the schools and talk to the young people of today, I just try to stay cool.  They say things like, "what's it like to be so awesome" and "had sex with any hot models lately?"  And I say "c'mon you guys, leave me alone".  Because I'm the janitor.