BRITNEY SPEARS IS ABOVE THE LAW

For almost a year, Kevin Federlines attorney Mark Vincent Kaplan has been attempting to get Britney Spears to go under oath and answer questions concerning her relationship with Federline and the way she raises their kids.  Eventually the court stepped in and ordered her to begin her deposition this morning at 11am, oh, but you'll never guess what happened.

Britney Spears was unable to attend her court-ordered deposition Wednesday morning due to an illness, a lawyer for Kevin Federline announced."I was told of a general [medical] condition, and [Spears] felt she couldn't attend," Mark Vincent Kaplan said outside his Los Angeles office.Spears's friend Sam Lufti tells PEOPLE in an e-mail: "She's sick, both physically and high anxiety. Millions of press outside. It's too much."A new date was selected, but not revealed. Federline's attorney indicated he "will pursue" a court sanction against the pop star for failing to show.

"Sick", my ass.  Her tubby ass just didn't wanna go.  11am means she would have had to waddle out of bed around 9, and obviously that's not gonna happen unless you told her Kaplans office was made out of gingerbread and coated with butter.