STUFF FROM ALL OVER

LINDSAY LOHAN IS DRUNK AGAIN.  MAYBE – Last week, I passed on an email from some handsome stud who wrote me to say he saw Lindsay Lohan on a Friday night knocking down Long Island Iced Teas at a bar in Utah.  And now, E! says kind of the same: "According to some Utah locals, Lindsay was spotted at a Park City club Friday night. And despite her two-month stint in rehab, our barwitness thought Linds looked less than refreshed."  I assume that means she was drunk.  Because bar + Friday + Lohan = hot drunken ass.  The bad news is she's maybe drinking again.  The good news is this will make it much much easier to get anal.  RICKY MARTIN GETS A STAR – The AP says that, "Ricky Martin was surrounded by hundreds of shrieking female fans as he received a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame."  And if this dude has hundreds of female fans, I will eat my hat.  Everyone knows those stars on the street are bought and paid for by the actor/singer/whatever, right?  It's not some board that votes, you just buy the damn thing.  Much like you would a case of beer or prostitute.  But this isn’t about me, the point is Ricky Martin loves dudes.  Can't get enough.ORLANDO BLOOM MIGHT BE IN TROUBLE – Orlando Bloom is still under investigation after a car crash last week that left one woman with a fractured neck.  Bloom was not drunk or high at the time, and says an SUV with paparazzi cut him off and caused him to crash into a parked Porsche.  The LAPD is investigating that claim and also whether or not to charge him with hit-and-run, because he left the scene momentarily.  LAPD is also investigating if it's crime that I look so handsome in the earth tones that are so popular this time of year.   

NICK HOGAN IS DOING GREAT – This is news to me, but apparently the kid in the car with Nick Hogan when he wrecked last month is still in a coma.  Doctors say he has suffered permanent brain damage and will never fully recover.  Doctors also said that 12 lortab is more than enough to recover from a root canal, so stop bein such a dick Randy.