NATALIE PORTMAN NEEDS TO RELAX

Natalie Portman broke down in tears yesterday during a visit to Stanford University, when she addressed a packed house to lecture on fighting global poverty through microfinance.  Whatever the hell that means.  The Stanford Daily says:

After a brief speech, the actress fielded questions from the audience, which was thoroughly impressed by the Golden Globe Award winner.“It was a riveting speech,” one student said, “full of insights about how to implement poverty relief that actually works.”Since graduating from Harvard in 2003, Portman has served as Ambassador of Hope for the Foundation for International Community Assistance (FINCA International), a leading microfinance organization that is committed to breaking the cycle of global poverty.FINCA has brought financial services to hundreds of thousands of the world’s lowest-income families by providing community-based savings opportunities and distributing small business loans through its Village Banking Campaign.

Boooor-ing.  Natalie needs to loosen up.  That shit is depressing.  Those people aren't even American, so what's the big deal.  What are they doing being born in those shitty countries anyway?  Think about that.  It kind of serves them right.  And it's not like they don't have stuff.  The have rocks and scorpions and hair, and … umm … other stuff.  Oh, but la-di-da, sorry your majesty if that's not good enough.  Some people are just like that.  It's never enough.  Like the other day, one of the models was all like, "I'm late" and then it was "I'm pregnant" and "I'm scared".  Just, "me, me, me, I need all the attention, all the time … look at me everyone!"  It was sad.  I guess some people just have a lot of growing up to do.