“THERE WAS BLOOD AND VOMIT ALL OVER…”

Amy Winehouse was staying at the Jade Mountain resort on St. Lucia in the Caribbean last week, and it was a magical time enjoyed by all.  Oh, wait.  Okay never mind.  The Mirror UK says:

Maids sent to clean the $1400-a-night suite were "horrified" by the mess. One worker revealed: "There was blood and vomit all over the bathroom, it was just terrible."It looked like she'd been sick many times. There was blood mixed up in the vomit."It was sickening. They were horrified by the state of the room which looked like a bomb had hit it.Amy was also sick over a sofa as she sat drinking in the only restaurant at the exclusive Jade Mountain resort on St Lucia.The stench was so bad the hotel was forced to shut it while it was cleaned.A hotel source added: "They're not like our typical guests. They stand out because they're both covered in cuts and have tattoos all over their bodies. They both behave very strangely."

I'm not even remotely kidding when I say that I'd rather have a bunch of greased pigs released in my hotel than this 80 pound white girl.  Greased pigs that have just been shot in the ass with flaming arrows.  And the fires from the arrows set off those super loud alarms and sprinklers and a bunch of flashing red lights.  There's no way those pigs could be any harder to stop than Amy Winehouse.