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ITS BRITNEY BITCH
September 10, 2007 | celebrity | editor | 0 Comments
So last night was the crowning moment in the spectacular return of Britney Spears. And the world has fallen in love all over again. The AP said:
As in most train wrecks, it was hard to focus on just one thing as the Britney Spears disaster unfolded. There was just so much that went wrong. Out-of-synch lip-synching. Lethargic movements that seemed choreographed by a dance instructor for a nursing home. The paunch in place of Spears' once-taut belly. At times she just stopped singing altogether, as if even she knew nothing could save her performance.
Keep in mind, that wasn't an editorial piece, that was a news piece. That was the AP reporting facts. And there's way more. The New York Post said:
…why was Britney Spears' totally lame, pathetically lip-synched Video Music Awards performance at the Palms Casino last night allowed to be seen by the rest of the world? Spears was stuffed into a spangled bra and hot pants and jiggled like Jell-O as she sleepwalked through the song. She didn't seem to care that she danced like she had a pantload, that her lips weren't synched with the song, and that the tune isn't all that great.
And the New York Daily News said:
Glassy-eyed and out of step, Britney seemed lost in a sea of pole dancers and overmuscled male models who groped her so much she wasn't even mouthing the words by the time her number ended. Cuts to the audience revealed fellow artists rolling their eyes. 50 Cent looked like he might have just thrown up in his mouth, and Rihanna was flat-out laughing to a table guest.
Unbelievably, that may all be an understatement. Britney looked like some 19-year-old who has to strip for money but instead just shuffles back and forth on stage and cries. And this is all 100 percent her fault. It was her idea to wear clothes that didn't even remotely fit and then try a dance number in 12 inch heels. MTV might as well as put a baby horse on a skate board and pushed it across the stage. I've done more electrifying dance moves than this while walking on hot sand.
