SCARJO TO HELP TROOPS WITH HER BOOBS

August 26, 2007 | celebrity | editor | 0 Comments

According to the always accurate, never sensational UK Sun, Scarlett Johansson will soon be traveling to a sand country to entertain the troops. Since she's not really a singer or comedienne, and she doesn't really have the power to tell them they can come home, you might wonder what exactly she'll be doing to raise morale.

"I don't know if I will sing for them. I'll probably just take to the stage and ooze sex appeal and hang around.

Makes sense. Chicks with huge tits always make me want to shoot Arabs and drive around in a Hummer. Double D burqa, anyone?

But 'ooze sex appeal'? Doesn't she know we have pills for that now? Pills that allow you to kayak? I'm never going kayaking. If TV has taught me anything, it's that everyone who kayaks has herpes. – LM

Tags: scarlett johansson tits

Disclaimer: All rights reserved for writing and editorial content. No rights or credit claimed for any images featured on wwtdd.com unless stated. If you own rights to any of the images because YOU ARE THE PHOTOGRAPHER and do not wish them to appear here, please contact us info(@)egotastic.com and they will be promptly removed. If you are a representative of the photographer, provide signed documentation in your query that you are acting on that individual's legal copyright holder status.