PARIS HILTON IS TRICKY

Page Six says today that Paris Hilton appears to be a changed woman and the days of her nonstop partying and whoring for attention are over.  Or are they – dun dun dun…

…sources close to the ditzy heirhead tell Page Six her new grown-up attitude is nothing but a big, phony act.Recently, Hilton has been seen in conservative one-piece bathing suits, hugging tiny tots for the cameras and acting demure with the paparazzi. But it's all the work of spin doctor Michael Sitrick and his crisis management team, Sitrick & Company, our sources say."Paris hired a crisis publicist because of all the negative attention after she got out of jail. But it's just for her public image," one Hollywood insider said.

Man, all I wanted was a bikini that told me the truth, but what I got was a swimsuit of deception.  I guess the only option now is to kill Paris.  I know it sounds extreme at first, but my gosh, we've got to try something!