ENRIQUE IGLESIAS HAS A BABY DICK

Enrique Iglesias (he's the one with the mole and chin pubes, not the one banging JLo) is reportedly being offered condom endorsements after coming clean about his ferret cock to Ok! and Esquire.

Enrique Iglesias is making waves by admitting to Esquire magazine that he "can never find extra-small condoms," the singer first opened up about his meager manhood in the pages of OK!. In an interview from the June 4 edition of OK!, Enrique confesses, with a laugh, that the one part of his body he wished he could change is his "wiener. It's way, way, way too small."

He knows what he's doing; calling it a "wiener" is sure to set many panties adrip.  Pretty much any Jewish name works.  I call mine "Goldstein".  

When you think about it, this is actually a wise strategy.  If you're a famous guy, what kind of a girl do you want to attract: the kind that needs a man who's hung like a billy goat, or the kind whose queefs can only be heard by dogs?  If he'd said he was packing, he'd attract the worst kind of groupies.  "Finally, a real man!  All those other losers were pretty much just slapping the sides. Tell you what, it takes a big plane to fill this hangar."

No, he's smart.  He's trying to attract the kind of woman who's been doing her Kegel exercises.  The kind of woman with what doctors call "a child's vagina."  That's all any man wants, really. As for me, my manhood has been described as "Substantial, but not unapproachable." -LM