THE CHUPACABRA IS GOING TO JAIL

Nicole Richie will appear in court this morning and plead either guilty or no contest to driving under the influence.  Richie was cited at 4:30am on December 11th when sheriffs deputies approached her car after several 911 calls reported Richie driving the wrong way down the Burbank Freeway. Richie was parked in the carpool lane and talking on her cell phone when they found her.  When questioned, she admitted she was high on vicodin and had been smoking marijuana.  This was not her first DUI.  In 2002, she was arrested for driving 50 miler per hour in a 15 mph zone near UCLA.  She had a .13 blood alcohol level, almost twice the legal limit.  Six months later, she was convicted for possession of heroin and driving on a suspended license.  About today’s court proceeding, TMZ says:

Richie will plead either guilty or no contest to DUI. She will appear before the Court Commissioner, who will sentence her on the spot. Sources say Richie will receive a minimum sentence of five days in jail. By law, anyone with two DUI convictions must serve at least five days. This conviction will be Nicole's second DUI.

So, I guess this means she'll be going to jail today.  Or the zoo, or the museum, or wherever the hell it is you lock up creatures that were previously thought to be just a myth.  If she does go to jail, I think a good experiment would be to tie her to a stake in the ground and keep her in a large pen.  Then release a cow.  I got 100 dollars that says that thing is nothing but bone in under 2 minutes.