PARIS HILTON IS SPECIAL

The LA Times says that Los Angeles Sheriff's Department launched an internal investigation yesterday to determine if Paris Hilton received special treatment during her 23 day prison sentence.  Golly, I wonder what the answer will be?  I bet it's shocking!  The Times says:

The department union, which has repeatedly clashed with Sheriff Lee Baca, said deputies have come forward to complain that Hilton had free access to a cellphone while other prisoners must wait in line to use pay phones during set hours.Hilton also received daily visits from top brass at the Lynwood facility — including a captain who hand-delivered her mail — in contrast to others who get letters brought to them by inmate trusties, they said.And officials were allegedly ordered to give her a new jail uniform while many inmates use recycled ones.Two sheriff's officials — who spoke on condition of anonymity — confirmed those details of her incarceration.

I like to pretend that maybe they'll determine the sheriff kissed her ass and she got off easy so they'll lock her up again.  I also like to pretend I'm an handsome space captain, kidnapped by a sexy race of aliens to mate with their exotic daughters and keep their race alive.  Pretending is fun!