LINDSAY IS NOT BEING CHARGED

The Los Angeles County District Attorney will not charge Lindsay Lohan with a DUI today after her accident at 5:30am on May 27th, when she lost control of her Mercedes SL-65 and crashed into a curb in Beverly Hills.  Lindsay, then 20 years old, was speeding and had nearly twice the legal amount of alcohol in her system.  Tests later revealed that Lohan had used cocaine that night, according to Us Weekly.  A police spokesman said a "usable amount" of cocaine was found at the scene, but not specifically on Lohan.  She fled the scene of the accident and was tracked down at a local hospital receiving treatment for very minor injuries.  Lindsay turned herself in yesterday afternoon around 3:00pm and was released in about one hour.  She has yet to be charged with a crime, but TMZ says:

In an email to TMZ, the spokesperson for the DA told us to "Check back on Monday."

Being a Hollywood cop sounds relaxing.  People just kind of show up and tell you they committed crimes.  Then you just say, oh okay, cool.  Check back on Monday.  Then you roll back over in your hammock and sip a mai tai from a coconut.  *yawn*  So sleepy.