BRITNEY IS ABOUT TO GO NUTS AGAIN

Us Weekly, according to Gallery of the Absurd, says that Britney Spears is headed for another very public meltdown, and her recent pattern of behavior mirrors the way she was acting just before she shaved her head and attacked paparazzi with an umbrella last February.  Us asked Dr. Martin Pennington, a clinical psychologist, and Dr. Robi Ludwig, a psychotherapist, to analyze her current behavior and compare it to her previous behavior.  A few of the highlights:

Britney was flashing flesh before her first meltdown and now she's doing it again. These days, she can be seen parading around Hollywood wearing sheer tops with brightly colored bras – that is, if she chooses to wear a bra at all. She has no problems going out in public looking like a tawdry scarecrow. "She's saying 'I'm doing what I want to do when I want to do it,'" Dr. Pennington says of Spears.

and:

Britney has once again dyed her horse hair dark – this does not bode well. If you'll remember, she had dark locks before she grabbed the clippers to shave that mess off. "When Britney was blonder, she was 'good,'" says Ludwig, "Now she's getting in touch with her 'darker' side."

I hope she does go all batshit again because last time was awesome.  I may become her new best friend just to make sure.  My plan includes mostly simple things, like whispering "you're insane" into her ear as she sleeps and replacing her fortune cookies with ones that say "everyone is laughing at you" or "they only love your money".  Is that extreme?  You bet.  Extremely entertaining.