POOR LITTLE LAMB

I think this will be my Christmas card this year.

UPDATE: And since there’s no better source for hard news than third party emails, heres another possible reason Paris was let out yesterday, thanks to the sexy Heather:

My friend's brother (who works with [Sheriff Lee] Baca's assistant sheriffs) told me that Paris was released due to a severe, "stress-induced" herpes outbreak. He also said that he heard that the blisters had apparently spread to her anus and had taken on abcess-like features that required more serious medical attention. Thus, after taking into account jail overcrowding, the increasing liability that Paris presents, and Paris's lesions, all things weighed in favor of her being put on home confinement.

Is this true?  Yes, it's 100 percent true (*).  I didn't win trophies in journalism because of my seductive walk and charming smile.  In fact, I didn’t win any trophies in journalism at all, so take that!

(*) warning – may not be true