JESSICA BIEL IN GQ

Jessica Biel is in this months GQ dressed like this, and god knows why she bothered because no one reads that thing.  It's borderline gay porn.  Here's an excerpt from the interview, doing what all GQ reporters do, talking about themselves:

Next up is something called the Hi-Striker, a game in which you swing a mallet to test your strength. I take three feeble swings, each one less successful than the last. A huge Hispanic man laughs every time I bring the mallet down on the metal block, and when I exit the cage and hand it off to the female attendant, she takes one exhibition swing and makes my emasculation complete. Up goes the projectile. Ping goes the bell.

Give the reporter credit, he's managed to find the gayest possible way to write a story about Jessica Biel, and that couldn't have been easy.