GEORGE CLOONEY IS GOOD AT EVERYTHING

An 18-year-old waitress from Essex, England may be on the verge of a three million dollar record deal after being plucked from obscurity with the help of George Clooney.  The Independent says:

Two weeks ago she was working as a waitress in a cocktail bar, cleaning tables for £7 an hour to make ends meet – but now Victoria Hart is set to sign a £1.5m record deal with one of the world's most prestigious labels.It took just one recommendation – from a friend who saw her singing one night in south-west London – for the aspiring jazz musician to land a dream gig singing for the stars aboard George Clooney's yacht in Cannes.  Clooney was hosting the party on his £80m yacht to raise money for humanitarian aid in Darfur. The next thing she knew the 18-year-old from Essex, who describes herself as "just a little blonde girl," was being fought over by record giants EMI, Universal and BMG, who are all touting her as the next big thing in the world of jazz.

She's never go anywhere in jazz with a name like "Victoria Hart".  She needs  a crazy jazz name like Peek-A-Boo Morton or Honeypot Wilder, something like that.  I don't know anything about jazz, but from what I can tell, that's the most important thing.  Being able to write a song that doesn't make me wanna kill myself appears to be a distant distant second.