WHAT A SHOCK

Law enforcement in the Los Angeles area are proving once again that celebrities will not – under any circumstances – be treated like the rest of society, and every effort will be made to coddle them and keep them above the law.  With that in mind, it was announced today that Paris Hilton will not serve 45 days as sentenced, but only 23 and she will serve them in a "special needs" unit separated from the general population. MTV says:

…jail officials have credited good behavior, including the hotel heiress' appearance at her latest court date, for reducing Hilton's prison sentence from 45 days to at least 23, Los Angeles County sheriff's spokesman Steve Whitmore announced. Hilton will serve her time separated from the general inmate population in a "special needs housing unit" at the Century Regional Detention Center in Lynwood, California, The Associated Press reported. These cells are specifically reserved for high-profile inmates — including celebrities, police officers and prison guards — who might otherwise be targeted by fellow prisoners. As part of her rehabilitation, the 26-year-old socialite will get at least an hour a day outside her cell, where she can participate in activities including showering, talking on the phone and watching TV.

How the hell does showing up for a court date count as good behavior?  Aren't you supposed to do that?  She didn't run a dog fighting ring either, so let's cut another 15 days.  And she didn't shoot President Lincoln, so lets pardon her completely.  In fact, with that in mind, the judge should sentence us to apologize to her.  Like, we'll have to go wash her car.  You and I personally will have to go to her house and make her bed and skim her pool.  It only seems fair.