ROSIE IS A POUTY RETARD

Rosie O’Donnell's head writer on "the View" is a woman named Janette Barber, and yesterday Janette was escorted out of the building after she was caught … wait for it … wait for it … drawing mustaches on the pictures of Elisabeth Hasselbeck that hang in the studio.  That’s right.  Mustaches.  Page Six says:

ABC confirmed in a statement only that "photographs at 'The View's' offices were defaced. Rosie O'Donnell was not in the building. ABC Legal and Human Resources are investigating the matter." Barber is an old friend of O'Donnell who worked with her years ago on "The Rosie O'Donnell Show."There were also rumors O'Donnell was so angry after her argument with Hasselbeck that she trashed her dressing room, although ABC denied the tantrum.

Mustachioed treachery aside, this is the lamest GD thing I've ever heard.  Is it any wonder Rosie's material is so fresh and edgy with writers like this feeding her lines?  Maybe next week she could put on a red nose and honk it or trip over a fish.  When I want revenge, I harness the secret powers of the Orient that made my hands a weapon, forged from steel and vengeance.  See the difference between me and Rosie?  Her attacks are filled with fagocity, while mine are totally boss and cool.