PARIS MIGHT SERVE 45 DAYS IN A TENT

Two weeks ago Paris Hilton was sentenced to 45 days in jail and almost immediately people who would know predicted she would never actually serve that much time.  She would do 23 days at the most but maybe as little as 4.  The reason of course is because of overcrowding in the California prison system.  Enter Joe Arpaio, the sheriff of Maricopa County, Arizona, AKA, "America's Toughest Sheriff".   Arpaio has spoken to officials in California and volunteered to house Hilton in Phoenix, saying that he will stick her in "Tent City".  Tent City, according to wiki:

…a new jail would have cost Maricopa County taxpayers around $70 million. So instead, Arpaio obtained used tents from the military, and established Tent City in a parking lot adjacent to one of the jail facilities, for a reported cost (mainly cement pads, fencing, and cooling fans) of around $100,000. As an announcement to future inmates that they should not expect early release upon overcrowding, but more tents instead, Arpaio added a (pink neon) "Vacancy" sign to the outside of Tent City.  During the summer of 2003, when outside temperatures exceeded 110 degrees, Arpaio said to complaining inmates, "It's 120 degrees in Iraq and our soldiers are living in tents too, and they have to wear full battle gear, but they didn't commit any crimes, so shut your mouths!”

If this guy can get Paris Hilton stuck in a parking lot in Phoenix for 45 days in June and July, he'll be my new hero.  That stranger who donated his bone marrow to save my life will fall to a distant distant second.  In fact, that dude can go fuck himself.  Trust me, when someone donates bone marrow, they never let you hear the end of it.  "Wow, what a nice day for a swim.  Too bad about my bone marrow being so low" or "she'd never go out with me, not with bone marrow like this".   Whatever bitch.  Get over it or I'll drown you, I swear to god I will.