PARIS HILTON IS WILDLY POPULAR

The New York Daily News says that one reason Paris Hilton may have gone to a petition so quickly, as opposed to exhausting all of her legal options first, is because she may think Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger owes her family a favor.  The News says:

Our review of campaign contributions shows that her grandpa, W. Barron Hilton, and Hilton Hotels gave a total of $59,600 to Arnold's campaigns between Sept. 3, 2003, and May 9, 2006. Schwarzenegger's press secretary, Aaron McLear, tells us: "The governor makes decisions on what he believes is in the best interest of the people of California," not the Hiltons. But McLear says they have made no formal petition to Arnold, adding, "There are legal remedies for her to pursue before the governor would become involved in this."

It is only now that I can reveal that this entire post – from the very beginning – has been a brilliantly clever ruse to mention that, as of 9:00 am pacific time, the Free Paris Hilton petition has 19,881 signatures.  And the Jail Paris Hilton petition has 40,134.  If the governor really makes his decisions based on what's best for the people, it would appear they have spoken, and they'd like Paris put in jail.  And then set on fire.  And then pee'd on.  And then poked with a stick.  And while you're doing that, I'll be over here, going through her stuff.