LOHAN IS WORRIED, ORANGE

God it seems like it was months ago when there were pictures in the paper of Lindsay Lohan doing coke.  That shit was Monday.  I may have forgotten but she and her lawyer certainly haven't.  IMDb says:

Lohan is said to be "inconsolable" about the latest scandal and fears she'll be condemned for appearing to be taking drugs just 20 days after she completed a rehab spell in Los Angeles. A pal says she was “crying hysterically," adding, "She's convinced that everyone is out to get her." And now her attorney has weighed in, "This just goes to show how hard it is to be Lindsay Lohan, who's even denied her privacy in the sacred confines of a ladies'-room stall and then must fend off the slings and arrows of false allegation."

I don't know what hysterical little girl Lohan has for an attorney but that drama queen needs to simmer down.  All he did was make things worse because now I have to know what's going on in "the sacred confines of the ladies room stall".   I thought they were just going to the bathroom, according to him it's a meeting of Skull and Bones.  I think a pretty good show would be one where they get to the bottom of what's really going on in there.  I also think a pretty good show would be one called Picnic Bear.  The bear either goes on picnics or raids other people picnics.  I havent worked out all the beats yet, but the hook is hes a savage maneater who has to be put down.  Pretty much I just want some serious announcer guy to say, "previously, on Picnic Bear…"