BRITNEY SPEARS IS A HERO

Britney Spears delayed a United flight to Miami Friday night after she demanded to be let off just minutes before takeoff.  Why?  Well because the plane didn't have leather seats, of course.  Splash says:

"She just said, 'I don't want to fly on this plane. It hasn't got leather seats,' ". The captain accommodated, later apologizing to passengers. "He said a passenger wanted to get off so he had to respect their wishes. He didn't say it was Britney Spears.  Some people were getting really annoyed."

Good for Britney.  She was right to stop the plane.  Non-leather seats may be okay for you and your friends, but people like Britney and me are better, and only extra fancy stuff will do.  Like the other day at Gelsons, they were out of Bollinger RD '88 and this POS who worked there suggested I get the Lanson Noble Cuvée instead.  Needless to say I punched him right in his smart allecky face.