SNAGGLETOOTH IS A BIG STAR

Entertainment Weekly is the first to get a quote from "Spiderman" director Sam Raimi about his future with the franchise and the lingering rumor that he will not return for "Spiderman 4" because he will be busy directing "the Hobbit", the prequel to "Lord of the Rings".  Raimi says:

''(Lord of the Rings director) Peter Jackson might be the best filmmaker on the planet right now. But, um, I don't know what's going to happen next for me right now. First and foremost, those are Peter Jackson and Bob Shaye's films. If Peter didn't want to do it, and Bob wanted me to do it — and they were both okay with me picking up the reins — that would be great. I love the book. It's maybe a more kid-friendly story than the others.''

And when asked if she would "star" in "Spiderman 4" without Raimi, Kirsten Dunst said:

'It's disrespectful to the whole team, I think, to do that. And audiences aren't stupid. It'd be a big flop without me, Tobey, or Sam. That would really not be the smartest move. But they know that already. [Sony chief] Amy Pascal would never do that.''

Ahem, "It'd (Spiderman) would be a big flop without me…"  Me = Snaggletooth.  Woof. I just … god.  I'm gonna suggest that maybe Kirsten Dunst is overestimating her popularity and importance to any movie, much less something like Spiderman.   Forget about replacing her between films, they could replace Kirsten Dunst in the middle of a god damn scene and if anyone even noticed, it would only be because your heart will feel like a horrible weight has been lifted.  It will be like seeing a sunrise after a horrible night during a war.  You might not process what changed but you would feel like there was hope in the world again.  They wouldn’t even have to replace her with another actress, they could just edit her scenes with footage of that water skiing squirrel from the state fair and it would essentially be the same thing.