ROSIE GOT PWN3D. AGAIN. BAD.

ET has obtained a copy of a letter that Donald Trump sent to Rosie O’Donnell this morning, in response to a Page Six article that detailed an argument between O’Donnell and Barbara Walters.  The letter says:

"Dear Rosie,I hope you had a wonderful vacation with your wife — you needed the rest.An article in today's New York Post indicates that you blew up at Barbara Walters for being a 'liar.' Actually, I don't blame you, but in fact she lied to both of us! After your maniacal and foolish rant against me two weeks ago, Barbara called me from her vacation (I did not call her) in order to apologize for your behavior. She had heard that I was going to retaliate against you and tried to talk me out of it. She very much wanted me to go on the show as soon as she got back so that she could 'patch things up' (I said no). To be exact, she said that 'working with her is like living in hell' and, more pointedly, 'Donald, never get into the mud with pigs' and, 'don't worry, she won't be here for long.' Barbara knows exactly what she told me over the phone and she has to live with it. Perhaps that's why her initial statement was so mild!In another incident, when I saw her eating at Le Cirque about two months ago and asked how 'Rosie was doing,' she sarcastically rolled her eyes and said 'Donald, do you have to ruin my meal.'In any event, you have a good reason to be angry. Please give my warmest regards to Kelly!Sincerely, Donald J. TrumpP.S.I was surprised that you let your spat with Barbara get into the newspapers, but, as I have always said and as you proved with Rosie, the magazine, you are very self destructive. You must work on this for your own good!"

Well, I think he was being sarcastic, but it's still awesome how many thinly veiled fat jokes Donald manages to work in when he talks about Rosie.  He probably even sent the letter on that cinnamon roll scented stationary.  Which means Rosie hasn't even read this yet.  Her secretary walked in and said, "did you get that letter?"  And Rosie stopped chewing and said, "wha wetta".  Poor Rosie.  So hungry.  Not like me.  I'm a hunk.  I'm also a tiger in the sack and the son of an oil baron.  Call me ladies!

UPDATE – as part of the buildup to a guest appearance by Donald Trump on an upcoming episode of WWE RAW, Vince McMahon is having two wrestlers act out the Donald-Rosie feud.  Because, you know, why wouldn't he.