BRITNEY WAS DRUNK

Despite the claims made by her representatives, the real reason Britney Spears passed out at the New Years Eve party she was hosting for the nightclub Pure at Caesars Palace was because she was drunk even before the party began.  TMZ says:

We have sources who saw the drink-by-drink as Brit put away "lots of sake" before she made it to Las Vegas' PURE nightclub for a reported $400,000 party-hosting gig.

Another contributing factor in her early depature may be that everyone at the party hated her, and weren't shy about letting her know:

Reports this morning suggested that Brit's woozy exit from Pure may have been precipitated by distinctly unflattering heckling from the crowd … her exit may have been caused, in part, by the catcalls of other PURE patrons…

Oh dear god those poor kids.  In the upcoming custody battle, their choices are this or Kevin Federline.  They'd have a better chance being raised by wolves.  Britney probably has the edge because she has all the money and might at least recognize the fat one.  Kevin would show up in court and have no idea which kids he was fighting for.  You could take Kevin and hold up three pictures: one would be a picture of him holding Jayden who is wearing a shirt that says Jayden, one would be a map of Canada, one would just say "4 + 4 = 8".  Lawyer – "Now Kevin which one of these pictures shows your son Jayden?"Kevin – "(long pause) … (long pause)  Is it Canada?"Lawyer – "No."Kevin – "(long pause) … Is it 4?"Lawyer – "No."Kevin – "I mean 8."Lawyer – "No."Kevin – "(long pause) … (long pause) Is it Canada?"