STUFF FROM ALL OVER

TOM CRUISE IS SEXY – I hope it doesn’t sound like I’m bragging, but I’m fuckin hot, so I know sexy when I see it, and Tom Cruise is sexier than ever.  He could totally be a plus-sized model.  (more pictures over on Splash)EVERYONE HATES PARIS HILTON – Page Six says that Paris Hilton probably bought the giant (and fake) “engagement ring” she’s been sporting lately to fuel speculation that on-again/off-again boyfriend Stavros Niarchos has proposed to her.  The fact is that Stavors probably never will, because his family hates her.

"They refused to meet her last year when Paris and Stavros had dated for a while.  Paris even followed him and his family to Hawaii, where they go every New Year's, and they still wouldn't meet her. They think she's tacky."

Hm.  I wonder if Paris would believe me if I told her I have a magic donkey that will make Stavros' family fall in love with her.  And I'll sell it for a million dollars.  And then Paris will barge into their house with the donkey and say, "Love Donkey – DO YOUR STUFF!"   I figure there's at least a 98 percent she'll believe me.

DAKOTA FANNING IS DEFENSIVE – 12-year-old Dakota Fanning is defending her latest movie which has come under fire because of a scene where she is raped.  To recap, Dakota Fanning is 12.  She says, "I don't think that anybody should be talking about it yet because nobody's seen it yet, you know? . . . It's a wonderful film, and I'm really proud to be in it. I can't wait for people to see it." 

Whore.