LINDSAY LOHAN IS BORDERLINE RETARDED

The New York Daily News reports today that Lindsay Lohan is angry at whoever is spreading the lies that Paris Hilton hit her.  Please keep in mind as you read the next quote that Lindsay Lohan is the one who said Paris Hilton hit her:

"Paris never hit me. She's my friend. Everyone lies about everything. … Please, stop trying to make us hate each other."

Lets travel back in time to what Lindsay said 24 hours ago:

"…I'm saying this on tape, (Paris Hilton) hit me last night, for no reason apparently, at my friends house and I didn't know she’d be there, and she hit me, and she hit me with a drink and she poured it all over me and it hurts and it's not okay and … I'm sorry for everyone who thinks I'm crazy, I'm not … I'm just trying to act."  

So, could Lindsay Lohan get any dumber?  I'll put it this way: No.  In most states, if you say something this dumb, you can be declared legally dead.