JESSICA AND JOHN MAYER, TAKE 2

Us Magazine says that Jessica Simpson and John Mayer are dating again, after a disastrous first try two months ago.   The two met for lunch at Paradise Cove Beach Café in Malibu, last week.  A source said:

"She didn't eat much.  She drank double vodka cranberries. When they got up, Jessica was rubbing his back. You could definitely tell they were on a date.  Mayer left a $40 tip on the $100 bill."

And a source close to Mayer says:

"It's a flirtation. I wouldn't call it full-on dating, but there is a fondness. He doesn't like the attention, but he likes her. He wants to avoid the public scrutiny of last time."

This is why dudes like John Mayer learn to play the guitar and come to Hollywood.  Without a record deal, his hobbies would include renaissance fairs and celibacy, but instead he's getting felt up by a half drunk Jessica Simpson at noon, and that's only because he decided to give her a second chance.  In hindsight, this story should be inspiring to people like you or your friends.  Not for me though.  I'm a big winner.

And now, year-old pictures of Jessica in a see thru shirt (more and bigger here).