ITS ALL BRITNEY, ALL DAY

Yikes. She told him in a damn text message. My hope is she typed in that 🙁 frowny face thing.  That's how I do it.  And if it's good enough to tell a girl they have an STD, it's good enough to announce a divorce.  Almost everyone is saying Kevin had no idea this was coming, but Fox says the timing is no accident. They say the prenup “evidently carried increases for Federline for every year of their marriage. And those deadlines, they say, likely had 30-day grace periods. Hence, Nov. 6 would have been Britney's last chance to get out of paying a third year of alimony settlement to a basically talent less slacker who was a drain on her finances.” Fox really did write that. God, the whole damn world really does hate this jackass. A damn UFO attack couldn't unify the globe this quickly.

And Best Week Ever has a few more details on the pre-nup from the December issue of Us, although it's almost exactly what we said yesterday:

 – K-Fed won’t touch a penny of Britney’s money. All the millions belonging to Britney will stay that way.  – The mansion will be divided 50/50.  – Any gift given worth over $10,000 will go back to the original purchaser. This includes a custom-built motorcycle Brit gave K-Fed for Christmas 2 years ago.  – She will still support him for a little while longer. Brit will pay Kevin $30,000 a month for the period of time that is half the length of their marriage.  – Spears won’t pay child support. Federline is still responsible for supporting his other two children with previous baby momma Shar Jackson.

So, 360,000 plus 3.5 for the mansion. Almost all the gifts, regardless of what was given to who, were paid for by Britney, so they all go back to her.  And I think we all know Kevin will piss through that 3.86 in a year, maybe two.  After that he’ll be living in a tree house, huddled up in the corner as rain leaks in, shakin like Michael J. Fox as he contemplates how far he’s fallen.  I can't even tell you how happy this makes me.