BRITNEY SPEARS HAS THE ANSWER!

TMZ says that Britney Spears is determined to get back the body that made her famous in videos like "Toxic".  Except, replace the word "determined" with the words, "doing things half-assed" :

Britney Spears has targeted her husband Kevin's album release party at the end of this month to make her triumphant return as the svelte, sexy young starlet we once knew — and a source close to the family tells TMZ that she's enlisted a small army of nannies, trainers, and nutritionists to put her through her paces to make sure she's looking her best. According to the source, Brit has hired a nanny for each of her sons, and is constantly in the gym "for hours at a time," working out feverishly to shed all the extra poundage she put on while having two babies in 13 months — and indulging her penchant for Taco Bell gleefully and often along the way.  "She really wants to make a huge splash at Kevin's release party," says our source, "and she totally wants to outshine Kevin and announce to the world that she's back."

Jesus, it looks like the only thing she’s in training for is to eat a whole pie.  If that tubby bitch can touch her toes by the end of the month it will be a miracle on a level with the moon landing, but she can forget about looking like she used too, especially on a diet that is quesadilla-based.   The only way Britney Spears is ever gonna look hot again is if Angelina Jolie legally changes her name to "Britney Spears".