MRS. DMX ISN’T VERY SMART

You guys have probably already read the Ocotber issue of Sister 2 Sister magazine, but if you havent, don’t miss the article where DMX’s wife explains how its cool that her husband had a baby with some random woman, because he got raped.  So it wasn’t his fault.  Because thug rapper DMX was raped.  By a girl.  A girl held down DMX and had her way with him.  And then got she pregnant.  Because he was helpless.  And his wife totally bought this.  AOL Music says:

Tashera Simmons — wife to rapper DMX — stands by her man as he talks openly about recently fathering a child with a Washington, D.C., woman.  “She raped me," (DMX says). "I mean, you know, that might sound like some bullshit. No man has ever been… you know what I mean, like never? Is that the only thing in the world that's not possible?"  Mrs. Simmons recalled an earlier encounter with the woman. "Before the stuff hit the fan, she came up to us while we were in court and said 'I work for kids that are sickly,' said Tashera. "So he said 'Give her my number.' That's how it goes all the time. At first, I said OK. But, then I thought she looked deranged and obsessed with him."  While his wife "blocks out" the experience to cope, DMX gained a more valuable lesson: "Turn on the light before I go to sleep," he said.

Well now I feel kinda silly.  I was under the impression that DMX had a light on.  Of course your penis is gonna end up in a vagina if you try sleeping in the dark.  How could it not?  And make sure the lights are bright.  Studies show that rappers who sleep with just a nightlight risk getting sucked off.  The new nightlights even have little warning stickers.  It's a pair of lips with a circle and line over them.  And whatever you do, don’t pull the shades.  Not unless you wanna wake up in a three way with groupies.  No thank you!