‘PARIS’ IS IN STORES TODAY

Paris Hilton's debut album hits stores today, and no matter what happens now, Paris Hilton will always love Paris Hilton.  Blender magazine asked what she thought about her first record:    

"I, like, cry, when I listen to it, it's so good."

And according to Hilton, everyone else loves it too, as long as they don’t know it's her:

"People go crazy.  They love it. Everyone's like, 'Who is this?' I don't tell. Because I don't want someone putting their phone up and recording it and making a ring tone off of it."

Then, in direct contradiction to everything Hilton has said so far, she insists shes very nice and down to earth.   

"I think people expect me to be this bitch snob.  But I'm really nice, and I feel bad if I'm mean."

Paris Hilton doesn't think very much of us if we're expected to believe she's anything other than a condescending bitch who bought her way to a music career.  I'd rather fill my ears with lava than listen to her sing.  I heard her song on my car radio the other day, and I just drove my car right off a cliff.  She had pretty much ruined my entire car.  I've had a few weeks to think about it now, and I'm 100 percent convinced I did the right thing.