ALICIA KEYS IS HARD TO GET

Alicia Keys says she made her boyfriend wait a year for sex because she is “too beautiful” to give herself to someone she didn’t think was special.  Starpulse says:

“I made him wait a year because my body is too beautiful to be violated by someone who doesn’t deserve it.”

You know you’re in for a good time when a girl refers to consensual sex as being “violated”.  Four wild minutes of “no” and “I don’t do that” and “you’re on my hair'”and “eww, it’s all over me”.  Rowr!  And I don’t know how to break this to you hun, but you’re kinda fug.  Except replace “kinda” with “really”.  And fug with … well, no “fug” about says it.   Oh hey, look, I guess I did know how to break it to you.  You also have a big ass.  And bad skin.  And hair on your chest.  The dude waited a year because he didn’t really want to fuck you.   I haven’t had sex with my fish tank yet, but not because I’m ““patient”.  It’s because I’m a little tease!