Gwyneth Paltrow is slightly less fat now

Gwyneth Paltrow, the winner of Movielines “Most Stuck Up of 1998”, underwent a planned C-section this weekend and gave birth to a baby boy, the second child for Paltrow and husband/Coldplay lead singer Chris Martin. Details are sketchy, but the delivery was in New York on Saturday and mother and child are said to be healthy. The rumor for a while has been that the little brother would be named Truman. Paltrow and Martin have a daughter named Apple, born May 14, 2004.


We here at Tyler wish the young family all the best. Wait, no, come to think of it, we hate Gwyneth Paltrow, because she’s a condescending bitch who gets real brave whenever she’s overseas and runs her mouth about how loathsome the United States is, then comes back to have her C-sections. If this kid doesn’t have hooves, it will only be to trick us into thinking he’s not a demon. A forked tongue and a tail might have been a little obvious.

update – According to Yahoo, Gwyneth passed on Truman and named her son Moses. That’s right. Moses Martin. Hopefully he can part the red sea of his blood when the other 10 year olds beat the shit out of the kid with the weird name. (thanks to everyone who sent this in)