Mariah Carey is on the beach

It took me a while to figure out why people started to send in pictures of Jerome Betis on the beach. Then I realized it was Mariah Carey, and I really got confused. God this girl got thick. Is her dad a bear? Cause I think it would be pretty cool to have a bear for a dad. The boys in school would snicker about Mariahs giant legs, but then one dude would say, “knock it off dude, her dad’s a bear.” And also – when you’re on St. Barts like Mariah is – a bear could carry any sunken treasure you found, no problem, cause bears are really strong. So the next time you see a bear, go give him a big hug. Who knows, maybe he’ll be your dad.