Are you fuckin kidding me

The Entertainment Tonight website is reporting today that Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey have sold their Calabasas home – the one made famous on the MTV show ‘Newlyweds’. The 5-bedroom, 6,500 square-foot Mediterranean-style house was listed at $3.75 million and was sold for an undisclosed amount to Justin Berfield, the dude who played a kid I don’t know on a show I’ve never seen and certainly thought went off the air like 10 years ago (‘Malcolm in the Middle’, according to ET). Berfield is now selling his 1930s Spanish-style Studio City home, a house with former Hollywood owners George Clooney and Jaime Pressly, among others.


Jesus, this dude looks like he’s 12, what’s he gonna do in a 6500 square foot house, play Army? This kid should be collecting Pokemon cards, not jacking off in Jessica’s old shower. That should be me. His life should be about retainer checks and accidentally walking in while his step-sister is taking a bath. God, the money in this town is obscene. I have friends who are brilliant and they live in their car. This kid should be hiding in his locker from the quarterback, but he’s rollin like Jay-Z.

Geez, that corset can barely contain those things. Plenty more of these pictures of Jessica at the People Choice Awards over on the sister site, GMask.