Jessica Alba is mistaken

I’m not saying I don’t wanna see Jessica Alba in slutty lingerie, because I very much do wanna see Jessica Alba in slutty lingerie, but it’s nice to know that girls are as clueless about guys as guys are about girls. Cause guys don’t really give a shit about lingerie. Seriously, despite what your desperate to get laid boyfriend might have told you. Sure it’s great on Victorias Secret models, but only because that’s as close as were gonna get to seeing them naked. But on our girlfriend, the greatest thing ever is for them to be wearing jeans and a tight t-shirt and then for them to not be wearing jeans and a tight t-shirt. Anything in between those two stages is just annoying. We can’t stand phone or cyber sex either by the way. Complete waste of time. Phone sex is like calling the car show and having them describe the new Mustang. It’s okay, but not really as good as banging away and driving the thing, now is it.

note – Sorry about the super late updates by the way. I won’t go into detail, but I will say – if you can at all avoid it – next time you’re in traffic court, try not to get behind the guy who enters a plea of “I didn’t do shit”. If you’re like me, you may be surprised how badly that can hold up the proceedings. To apologize, and because it’s Christmas, here is the worlds greatest Jessica Alba fake nude picture. Seriously, this is NSA level photoshoping by a true artist. A lonely and perverted artist. (wildly NSFW)