News from all over

Jared Leto is a whore: Page Six says that Lindsay Lohan’s “boyfriend” Jared Leto kept himself busy while she was working the AMA’s for the past few days, by hanging out in Vegas and banging some random blonde chick at the Hard Rock. In Jared’s defense, the girl was alive, thus fulfilling all of his requirements in a sexual partner.


Michael Jackson is an anti-Semite: Michael Jackson can be heard making anti-Semitic remarks on a voicemail to a former business manager that was played yesterday on Good Morning America.

“They suck. They’re like leeches . . . I’m so tired of it . . . they start out the most popular person in the world, make a lot of money, big house, cars and everything. End up penniless. It is a conspiracy. The Jews do it on purpose.”

Michael Jackson could pick up a hooker, punch her out and bury her in the desert, and it would have been the most normal thing he’d done in years.


Charlize Theron is goofy: Longtime couple Charlize Theron and Stuart Townsend announced that they will finally get married the same day it becomes legal for gays and lesbians in America to do the same.

“We came up with a new idea that we said that we would get married the day that gays and lesbians can get married – when that right is given to them.”

Less time: assuming that the entire planet is counting the days until you get married.
More time: with a Bowflex. Both of you. Kind of seems like the dog should be throwing the ball for you.