Jessica Simpson wants Brad Pitt

Star Magazine says that Jessica Simpson has been lobbying hard to be cast as the wife of Brad Pitt in a big-screen adaptation the 80’s nighttime soap Dallas. Jess has her heart set on playing Pam, the doe-eyed wife of good son Bobby. That role would be far meatier than her last and it would allow Simpson a chance to share scenes with Pitt (who played a ranch hand on the show in 1987), not to mention give her another high profile role without having to carry a film. Says a source:

“Jessica’s had a secret crush on Brad for ages. She literally saw Legends of the Fall more than 12 times. She thinks that Brad is the hottest man alive. Jessica is determined to make this movie.”

I desperately crave Jessica Simpson’s approval, so I’m not going to say anything bad about her. For the record, I think this is a well thought out and foolproof plan. Except that Brad Pitt is not in the movie Dallas. Seriously. He’s not. But lets pretend that he is. Cause it’s fun to pretend. If there’s anyone alive that could steal a guy from Angelina Jolie, it might be Jessica Simpson. Guys usually look for the opposite of the girl they just dated, and its safe to say Jessica fits that. She might not give Pitt the inflated sense of worth he got with Jolie, but he also wouldn’t have to judge the success of a date by how many tigers tried to attack him in whatever haunted ghost jungle she dragged him too.