Jessica Biel is the Sexiest Woman Alive

Normally, Esquire Magazine is just ego driven pie-in-the-sky hippie stuff, where terrorists and Cuba are always right and America is always wrong. But every now and then they trick some hottie into doing a photoshoot. And its always really uncomfortable. Based on the writing, the dusty mummies who read and write that magazine are pretty much the same guy who bought the Drunken Clam, then framed Peter and came on to Lois. They might also have an eye patch. The type of people who commission snuff films. And Esquire arrives in their mail box the same day as Jocks and Cocks. And guess which one they open first. So pictures of young girls in their early twenties never turn out hot, regardless of how badly I want to have sex with the model. It’s really just creepy. Honest to God, I