BRITNEY WANTS BABY TATOO

From Female First UK: “Britney Spears wants to get a tattoo of her child’s name after she gives birth. The pregnant pop babe, who is expecting her first child with husband Kevin Federline in October, told viewers . that she wants the inscription done to commemorate becoming a mother. She said: ‘I like the idea of the moment being captured forever’.”


You know that saying, “If you love someone, set them free. And if they come back to you, it was meant to be.” Well, if you ever work at a camp for retarded kids – like I have – and they offer horseback riding, keep an eye on any of the camp romances, cause one of the girls may be testing that theory, and no matter how much spunky can-do spirit the dude has, if you just let him go and wait to see if it their romance was meant to be, he will die. I assure you, he will die. Bee stings probably. Just a guess.


Which somehow brings me to Britney Spears, and her littl’n on the way who would have a better chance being raised by a Kodiak bear, because it seems obvious by now that Britney has no idea where babies come from or how they work. I would ask Kevin to explain, but I’m pretty sure his response would be some version of, “Yeah, I threw a baby up on in her.” Except less eloquent. Britney does know that the baby goes home with her, right? So you don’t need a memento of the baby, cause the memento is the baby. Christ, I hope one of the nurses speaks ‘hillbilly dumbass’ or whatever language she talks in and can explain that “bun in the oven” is just an expression before Britney tries to eat the god damn thing.