Social Media Is Bad For Trophy Wives

Do no take on a young trophy wife if you’re not willing to train. U.S Secretary of the Treasury and rich quivering chin former film executive, Steve Mnuchin, can’t seem to control his third wife. She’s much younger and blond and hot. Check check check. Now’s the part when you tell her she can’t go on social media or speak around any hot microphone. Fuck the gardener if you must. Do not go on Twitter.

This isn’t some sexist advice. Jennifer Lopez and Mariah Carey and Heidi Klum and other rich old bags taking on young dick need to enforce the same house rules. You get to live in a mansion. Drive a fancy car. And travel the world in luxury. Your job is fuck me and pretend you like it, make up a fake career, and most importantly, shut the fuck up.

Mnuchin’s wife, Louise Linton, posted a photo of herself in designer wear getting off a government jet, presumably returning from a pleasure trip. She hashtagged all the appropriate designers. This is how vapid rich people talk. 

“Great #daytrip to #Kentucky! #nicest #people #beautiful #countryside #rolandmouret pants #tomford sunnies, #hermesscarf #valentinorockstudheels #valentino #usa,” 

It’s like ebonics for the opposite end of the socioeconomic spectrum. We all have our klatches and cultural lingo.

Somebody who doesn’t know Linton but hates her because Trump, pointed out how nice it must be to be taking day trips on government jets. Not a completely unfair jab. Linton responded with a diatribe about how she and her rich husband pay more in taxes than poor people. Not a completely inaccurate point. Though not your best Family Feud answer in these political times.

As a practical matter, most of the nation’s elite and wealthy were Clinton supporters. Limousine liberals far outnumber the number of curmudgeonly Mr. Potter banker types who are fine being viewed as cold and mean by the popular media. Rich people like to pen posts about loving Elizabeth Warren’s fiery progressive rhetoric, while shifting their liquid assets to Irish underground bunkers where taxes won’t find them. Fuck it, it’s what you’d do if you had a hundred mill in the bank as well.

Linton was forced to issue an apology for her smarmy response because she is married (her second go-round) to a cabinet level official. All the more reason to follow the prime directive and shut the fuck up. Nobody likes rich blond women married to rich older dudes. But they’d all trade their hate for your spot in a heartbeat. Let that and your Hermes Scarf keep you warm at night.

_{Photo credit: Getty Images / Splash News}