In what is guaranteed to be a big deal back in her homeland of China, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" and "Rush Hour 2" star Zhang Ziyi was caught topless on a beach while her boyfriend licked her ass.  This is pretty surprising, because even though all Asian girls are sexual freaks, the commies don’t condone this kind of thing in public.  I should say, “most Asian girls are sexual freaks”.  A recent poll found that 100 percent of the Asian girls I currently live with refuse to lay out topless, even though their tits are awesome, and also I'm not allowed to rub thier ass on the beach, even though that sounds like fun.  A follow up survey showed they’re vehemently against hardcore pornography and only chose "2" when asked about about the probability of a three-way with another girl.  WTF?  I think I picked a dud.

Daniel Craig and his girlfriend Satsuki Mitchell spent New Years in St Barts, and holy crap that chick is ridiculously good looking.  Kudos to Daniel, because she is way way out of his league.  His features are downright simian, in fact from the neck up it's as if someone shaved a monkey, specifically a chimp, whereas she looks like an angel.  An angel with long pretty hair and a hot ass.  Who is 98 percent naked.  I don’t know if they have angels like that, but I think they should.  I don’t see how it could hurt.

(picture source = fame pictures)

We've spoken with John Travolta's lawyer and close friend, Michael McDermott, and family attorney Michael Ossi, both of whom are with John in the Bahamas … they say the intimation that Jett went undiscovered for hours is absolutely false.  Police have said the last time anyone saw Jett was when he went to the bathroom on January 1. His body was discovered by nanny Jeff Kathrein the next day at 10 AM. In fact, McDermott and Ossi say it appears Jett went back and forth to his room and the fatal injury occurred "very shortly" before Jett was found on the bathroom floor -- McDermott called it a "small window of time."
McDermott and Ossi tell us two nannies were present on the trip and Jeff was by his side 24/7. There was a baby monitor device by Jett's side and there was also a chimer in the bathroom when the door opened.

"90210" and "Nip/Tuck" star AnnaLynne McCord hit up South Beach this weekend, and oddly enough I didn’t see any dudes with erections when I first opened these pictures.  Needless to say I promptly took care of that.  Although she does need to get implants, because I personally like really big tits, and everyone should do what I say.  Also tone down her hair.  I assume it's naturally like that but it looks like that blown-out 80's hair.  All that's missing is a Members Only jacket with the sleeves cut off and she could be in a Whitesnake video with that hair.  On the plus side, I dig that a hot girl in a bikini is throwing around a football painted with American pride.  I salute you, AnnaLynne.  At least parts of me do. 

(picture source = bauer griffin and pacific coast)

Lindsay Lohan and her bf Sam Ronson have been fighting nonstop for months now, but Saturday the New York Post said it has reached new levels as of late, with them having shouting matches in front of bums in dirty alleys and even Lindsay punching Sam right in her dick fist fighting in hotel hallways.

...on New Year's Eve, the couple went nuclear and started screaming at each other while hosting a party at Mansion. The fight spilled out into an alley behind the club, where Lohan screeched at Ronson, "When I storm off, you are supposed to follow me!" Our spy said, "It was a really gross alley. There was a bum eating a sandwich watching the whole thing. Lindsay was really unstable and flipping out." After Lohan and Ronson went back to the hotel, several sources heard crashing sounds and screaming coming from their room until the fight spilled out into the hallways at about 11 a.m. "They were punching each other - it was bad," a spy said. "And they were doing this in front of all of us. It was scary." At one point, Lohan dropped to her knees and cried, "Why are you doing this to me?" And Sam just said, "I don't know you." Eventually hotel security was called and photos were taken of the girls' "trashed" room. "Mirrors were broken and it was a complete mess," another spy said.

In Sam's defense, it is pretty annoying when you’re at the hotel and the girl on her knees in front of you starts crying.  Like it's my fault she dropped out of high school.  Look, do you want the 20 dollars or not?