Ashley Benson Dumps Ryan Good; Why This Is Very Good

Ashley Benson has confirmed her split from year-long boyfriend, Ryan Good. It’s always good news when a hot girl becomes single. But it’s great news when Ryan Good loses something valuable. You probably don’t even know who this dude is, but you should, and then you can wish him ill will too.

Ryan Good was, is, officially, Justin Bieber’s ‘swagger coach’. When Usher was searching YouTube for ‘sexy underaged boys’ and discovered Justin Bieber, he realized that as tween-girl friendly as Justin was, he was just a dorky kid from Canada who wasn’t ready to be a true player. Enter Ryan Good. A douchy 20-something dude with tons of swagger. So much swagger that Usher and his team hired Ryan Good to shadow Justin’s every move, bunk with him 24×7, and teach him the ways of the swagger. The way to walk, to talk, to flash his gang signs, to give his cool shoutouts, how to dress, how to bend down and touch the hands of every 12-year old girl in his audience, while giving their horny housewife mom’s a salacious wink. Ryan Good helped turn Justin Bieber into Justin Bieber. It was like Ra’s al Ghul training Bane. Well, not like that at all, because that would make Bieber Bane, when in fact Bieber is just a 120-pound full-of-himself pussy with bangs.

Hey, look, there’s that swaggerific Ryan Good ginning up the young teen crowd in Paris at Bieber’s movie premiere. Dick.

Photo credits: Getty images