Britney Spears’ Ass Is Dead to Me

March 11, 2013 | celebrity | editor | 0 Comments

I’m not exactly sure when it happened, but Britney Spears’ ass went on vacation and it isn’t coming back. My dad did that once, though to be fair, he showed up thirteen years later. I doubt Britney’s ass is every going to show its smiling mug again, let alone send a postcard from a foreign country with twenty pesos and an apology letter that starts with ‘you can’t understand what a bitch your mom was…’.

Britney is now a full-time mom. With a mom’s sweat pants covered dumper. Flat as the earth pre-Columbus. I only wish we could’ve had a ceremony. Spilled some juice for a crack that ain’t ever coming back.

Photo Credit: PCN / WENN

Tags: britney spears

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