OKAY WELL NOW SHE’S NOT PREGNANT

In complete contrast to what the NE said earlier today, TMZ says now that Jamie Lynn Spears is not pregnant, citing a source that cannot be turned into a peach, no matter what. (nyuk nyuk nyuk!) 

Three-month-old Maddie Briann Aldridge is gonna have to wait to have a lil' baby brother or sister, because Jamie Lynn Spears is not pregnant, y'all!While several reports are claiming Jamie Lynn is preggers again, an unimpeachable source tells TMZ Britney's baby sis does not have another bun in the oven.Someone tell Lynne Spears and get her down from the ledge.

If TMZ is right, I’m willing to bet Jamie Lynn is the one who told the Enquirer she was pregnant.  Because she’s an idiot, and if you can't do anything right, a good idea is to point out that at least you didn’t fuck up.  It turns doing nothing into something admirable.  And all she had to do was not get pregnant for a second time at 17.  It would be like if I told my parents I was a democrat.  Then I said, "naw I’m just kidding, but I am a gay pedophile necrophiliac".  They would say, "oh my god, you're a democrat!"  "No.  I was kidding about that.  But I do dig up dead boys and make love to them."   "But not as a Democrat?" "No." "Oh thank god."

(picture source = inf daily)