HOLLYWOOD LOOKS FUN

The unthinkable hell you’re looking at above is the new “house” Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt bought over the weekend.  Near Provence in the south of France, the main building has 35 bedrooms and sits on 1000 acres, an estate complete with a vineyard, lake, forest and a moat.  You read that right by the way.  A fucking moat.  Cost: 60 million dollars.  E! says…

The pre-Roman estate also boasts a swimming pool, billiards room, indoor pool, his-and-hers gyms, sauna and jacuzzi and a huge banquet hall.  Magnificent cascading stone-walled terraces have been replanted with 13 different varieties of olives, and water is everywhere on the sprawling estate—20 fountains, aqueducts and a stream that runs through hidden tunnels, passes through the moat and fills the lake.  Except for the ponies and goats grazing in the nearby fields, "the house is surrounded by a forest so they'll have total privacy, which is exactly what they're after," the source tells E! "No one will ever be able to get pictures of them relaxing at home, it's just impossible."  The Jolie-Pitts hope to be completely moved in within the next three months, if not sooner. For the past year, Brad and Angelina had been house-hunting in the area, where residents include Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis and U2 frontman Bono.

In a related story, someone left a nearly working scooter in the ditch near my house.  Look at me everyone!  I’m scooting!  Weeeee OH GOD THERE'S NO STEERING…

(picture source = splash news online)