ANNA NICOLE IS ON HER WAY

Judge Larry Seidlin broke down in tears today as he issued his ruling that the court-appointed guardian of Anna Nicole Smith's daughter Dannielynn will get custody of Anna Nicole’s remains and will determine where she will be buried. Anna Nicole’s mother had been petitioning for Anna Nicole to be buried in Texas, while her lawyer/boyfriend(?) Howard K. Stern wanted her buried in the Bahamas and Larry Birkhead (Anna Nicole’s ex-boyfriend and possible father of Dannielynn) said Anna wanted to buried in California near Marilyn Monroe. The ruling today was essentially a victory for Stern, as the guardian said Anna Nicole will be buried in the Bahamas. Judge Seidlin said:

"(I) tried to get a reasonable result. I hope when you hear it you handle it with the respect and dignity that Anna Nicole Smith would want … I want her buried with her son. I want her buried with her son in the Bahamas. I want them to be together."

Judge Seidlin also urged all parties to submit Anna Nicole to DNA testing to settle the ongoing paternity battle over Dannielynn, but no one was listening at that point because he had started to cry. It was really touching. I got swept up in the emotion too. In fact I cry every time I see a rainbow or hear the laughter of a child. Naw I'm just kidding. This dudes a fag. Did I miss something? Did Anna Nicole invent a time machine powered by blow jobs or something? Was she about to be appointed to the Supreme Court or was she about to do some coke, blow some black guys and then fall down. Oh, wait, it was the second one? Yeah that's what I thought too. She was an idiot. Who gives a shit if she died. Other than those black dudes. They'll probably miss her dearly.