KFED IS SMOOTH, YO

Kevin Federline has set his sights on Lindsay Lohan and texted her last week, saying “We should hang out.”  Umm, it didn’t work.  Us says:

“She was totally grossed out,” a Lohan pal tells Us.  Says another, “She thought it was hilarious.”  However, Federline didn’t appreciate Lohan’s “Why would I hang out with you?” reply.  He fired back, calling her a "firecrotch."  Says the source, “She couldn’t believe he was so pathetic. She doesn’t want him using her to make Britney jealous.”

God damn, is there any way this dude could embarrass himself any more.  I guess he could have asked out Lindsay while wearing a diaper and a purple top hat.  And then sat down on a cactus, and then ran around yelping while he tried to get the cactus out.  You know what, never mind.  This is pretty much the same thing.